Preparing yourself for the world of mature dating takes more than deciding on what kind of outfit to wear. You have to get past that pesky little time when you're between your breakup or divorce and your potential Mr. Right. Those first few months are crucial to develop the right perspective on the path forward. This cheat sheet will help you steer yourself in the right direction during a time of vulnerability and self-discovery.
1. Contact him/her.
This can be very hard to do, especially if there are still loose ends to tie up (e.g. moving stuff, negotiations, etc.) but it's over. Remove yourself from all social media, phone, and face-to-face contact. Having this space will help you to accept that the relationship is over and will prevent you from saying or doing something desperate when it comes to your ex.
2. Get locked into a pity party.
The grieving process is a necessary one but don't let yourself slip into a loop. Take the time you have to think of what you weren't happy with in your relationship and find ways to realize your newfound happiness at the opportunity to be single again.
3. Fall into self destructive habits.
It's incredibly easy to find a crutch in a hard time but don't fall into the trap. Over eating or not leaving your room every day will only enable your negative emotions. Instead, Sign up for a yoga class or take up a book club. Find ways to distance yourself from the past and give yourself goals for the future.
4. Begin dating right away.
What you had was influential on your life, there's no denying that. Give yourself some time to accept that that chapter of your life is over and a new one is beginning. This time is ideal for reflection and looking back at your experience to help you prepare for the idea of meeting someone new.
1. Forgive yourself
Whatever the reason your marriage or relationship ended, it does you no good to dwell on the mistakes you made. You won't be open to life's opportunities if you are consumed with guilt and sadness. Accept what you can't change and find peace with the knowledge that the future may bring something better.
2. Find comfort in your friends and family
When someone you built a life with is no longer around, your first instinct may be to shut yourself away. Instead, actively seek to be in company with your loved ones. They will help you cope and remind you of all the things that were wrong in your previous marriage or relationship.
3. Find endeavors that allow you to relish being single.
Treat yourself to a matinee or a day at the beach. Find time for a full day spa experience and splurge on vacation you've been wanting to take. Take advantage of being single to enjoy all the little things you couldn't before and rediscover yourself.
4. Work on self improvement
Now is the best time to reexamine yourself from a new perspective. Take the opportunity to improve yourself physically and mentally. While you're preparing to get back into the dating world, you will also prepare yourself for a happier, more complete you.
Look back at the distance you've traveled and enjoy how far you've come. You're almost there, all you need to do is take the first step.
Did this help you calm your butterflies and enjoy the dating experience? Want more tips on how to make dating fun and exciting? Follow the Modern-Day Juliet on Facebook at Facebook.com/WhereAreYouRomeo!